Champions of Mediocrity

WHEN it comes to TV viewership, the Zee TV serials are at the center of the universe. Homework has to be finished. The baby's diaper has to be changed and she has to be put to sleep. (How old is the baby? Well, she was born exactly three years after the last episode of Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi was aired...). Dinner has to be done. Sorry no eating and watching, not only for fear of the cutleries clinking right when it is announced on screen as to who the father of the child is, but also because the bua wants her work to be done in time so as not to miss out on that fateful announcement.

Finally, the virtual 'Do Not Disturb' sign is up.

Even the 'blockbuster' TV show in Bangladesh has to compete with the Hindi serial timing. After all, Bangladesh's prime time is when the viewers are at home AND the Hindi serials are NOT on. Thank Heavens there is a half hour time difference between the two countries. 

As the serial continues on, the volume of the TV gradually and unwittingly goes up as the volume of the dialogues (short bursts of stinging and triple meaning words, all few and far between) gradually goes down, heading towards the ultimate threat or the ultimate revelation, uttered in a whisper bordering the human audibility threshold where bats can also enjoy the evening. 

And then comes the climactic music, kicking off with a sonic boom. 

Oh, man! That wakes up the baby!! 

You go to put a bottle in the baby's mouth and put her back to sleep. You rush back to the TV room after ten long minutes. But lucky you! You still see the same set of six people on screen, intertwined in complex relationships, darting their looks from left to right, right to left, bottom to up and up to bottom, all in an infinite loop of repetitions and with perfect intervals (one waiting politely and patiently for the other to complete his darting scan) with the beat of the drums, all triggered by that one word whisper.

As the heads move in all possible directions, the storyline has graciously paused just for your (and the baby's) convenience. 

So, why is this fascination with the Hindi serial? Perhaps it is a great way to unwind and decompress after a long, hard day's work, whether you are in the city or the rural areas. After all, the last thing you want is too much of cerebral exercise.  

Am I big fan of the pretty faces, the five o'clock shadows and the fake grey hairs? No. But that is immaterial. The numbers speak for themselves. Can't deny that the only viewers of Zee TV serials are not just limited to India. When there is a market, there is a demand, when there is a demand, there is a supply and when there is a healthy supply, there is chi ching. 

Sure we can block or ban what a large group of consumers in Bangladesh crave. That then becomes a form of protectionism which makes it a bare playing field for the protected to become the champions of mediocrity without knowing what competition to beat. 

As our radios play Kal Ho Na Ho, there is no Ei Mon To Aar Maney Naa on Mumbai's FM waves. As we watch Raage Anurage on Zee Bangla, there is (was) no Bohubrihi on Kolkata screens. Even if there were no commercial or regulatory barriers (ok, that's euphemism for the protectionism in place across the fence) for our shows being on Indian screens, the question is how many of our neighbours (and us too) will switch away from Indian Idol and watch Bangladeshi Idol.

Yes, a bar on Hindi music as mobile phone ring tones is in line with Bangladesh's import policies in this area. A well meaning effect of it is also to promote local creative content (hey, there are no Habib Wahid tunes offered by Vodaphone to its customers…). However, it is up to us who are in the world of creative media, to get out of our comfort zones, step up and push the envelope AMIDST the prevailing dominance to lure in the one plus billion in the whole subcontinent to tune away from what they watch (listen) to what we create in Tejgaon, Kawran Bazaar, Niketon, Moghbazaar. . . 

For now, the Ptolemic Theory holds that the Earth is at the center of the universe. But there is a Copernicus out there right among us. The center of the universe is about to shift…

The writer is an engineer at Ford & Qualcomm USA and CEO of IBM & Nokia Siemens Networks Bangladesh turned comedian (by choice), the host of NTV's The Naveed Mahbub Show and the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club. 
E-mail: naveed@naveedmahbub.com