The bolden triangle

WHEN expats come to Bangladesh, they cry twice – once when they arrive, and once when they leave. The same goes with the natives when they leave Bangladesh and more so, when they arrive on (near) foreign lands by sea. The tears are well worth it as the grass is always green on the other side of the blue.

I'm sure these thousands don't wake up one fine morning and decide to be slaves. It can't also be that they are getting an overdose of CNN and taking its motto 'Go beyond borders' a little too literally. It's just that seeing a fellow man, some see compassion, while some see profits for a sale on all body parts. Some, not necessarily all strangers, are surely giving these Bangladeshis and Rohingyas the wrong idea of the Second Home programme in Malaysia, which seems to now be offering a Permanent Home – three feet under. Destination Malaysia, Truly Asia – from your first home to the second home and now the last home. 

Let's be fair. Not all perish as search and rescue becomes search and return. All return to Bangladesh the same way they went – the Bangladeshis directly and the Rohingyas after going through Myanmar's one day express service of nationality verification.

Then there are the luckier ones who may return home on jet planes. Did I mention that they are LEGAL migrant workers in the Middle East? Thank you Malaysian company IRIS, the digital ISIS for our boys and girls in the desert, for the brilliant job you've done with machine readable passports. I guess one needs a bionic iris to read the fine prints of the IRIS contract. . .

Neighbouring Thailand also beckons with a warm Sawasdee – from Sukhumvit to Samitivej and now to Slaveville. Welcome to Amazing Thailand. Yes, it's a-maze-in-Thailand – a maze of abandoned camps. 

Oh well, immigrants are never welcome by the older immigrants.

I have to say, Malaysia and Thailand are doing a pretty good job as bouncers. In fact, the American Civil War may have been averted if the two Asian Coast Guards were deployed along America's Atlantic coast in order to drive away inbound slave ships. 

Sailing is a matter of timing. Christopher Columbus and Captain Cook took arms and were welcomed with open arms. Migrant workers pay an arm and a leg and take their open arms to work at a bargain and are being welcomed with arms. The ship to board-sail-land-stay has sailed – a sad pun.

But prevention is the only cure for the human traffic jam. 

So help, UN Human Rights Council. If not now, then maybe with a new leader at the helm in 2016, a position that is being actively sought after by Saudi Arabia. With its scorecard of just 85 beheadings this year, that'll be like Keith Richards heading a drug rehabilitation programme. 

Looks like Bangladesh is on its own, taking a non-violent approach. We're Mahatma to Malaysia – providing visas on arrival while Bangladeshi boat migrants get mass graves on arrival into Malaysia. Oh and let's not forget us picking up Malaysian frozen parathas from air conditioned super markets while pooh-pooh-ing the cheap, fresh, hot ones being made right across the parking lot. Ok, so this 'foreign' (wow!) paratha is too tasty (not to me) to be boycotted. Then how about we do this – just like the high end stores proudly sporting the sign above the Bangladeshi mangoes:  'Chapai mangoes – formalin-free', display this sign on the freezers:

'Malaysian parathas – blood, torture and abuse free'…

The writer is an engineer at Ford & Qualcomm USA and CEO of IBM & Nokia Siemens Networks Bangladesh turned comedian (by choice), the host of NTV's The Naveed Mahbub Show and the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club. 
E-mail: naveed@naveedmahbub.com