Big Brother is Swatching You

THERE is such a thing as Sharma, er, karma. Rohit Sharma, I'm afraid this time it is NOT a no ball. And Umpires, I know you guys tried your level best, but the elite TSA (Transportation Security Administration) from New York's Kennedy Airport are reviewing the action replays through X-rays.

There are a record number of supporters for Australia at the semi final against India – 23 million Australians and 160 million Bangladeshis, the latter fresh from the pain of the plethora of '50-50 calls' in the quarter final. Bangladeshis pray so hard for the Aussies that the surplus prayers spill over into the finals as the Golds beat the Black Caps in a game where curling seems like a more exciting sport. To do justice, the commentators make sure they sound like those from the Buick Open (Golf).

It is the same MCG, perhaps with the same sea of brown at the stands, like a UPS convention, "What can Brown do for you?" And this is what the brown does – the Indian and Bangladeshi fans discard their blue and green jerseys respectively and blend into the colors of gold and black, depending on where they got their permanent residencies. 

Perhaps the most exciting part of the final is when Mr Mustafa Kamal watches (not from the stands) as Mr Srinivasan swatches the ICC President to give away the trophy. Well, the Chairman surely knows how to make headlines for not necessarily the best reasons and stir up controversy even by doing 'nothing', like calling an 'informal' ICC board meeting.

Here I picture Arnold Swarzenegger, the Terminator, saying in a thick accent: "I'll be back!"  and now with a sequel with Mr Srinivasan, the Substitutor, saying in a staccato accent: "I'll be back (to give the Trophy)!"

A case of Srinivasan vs. Kamal? Quite the contrary. The former couldn't help but thank the latter for saying: "I can't represent Indian Cricket Council." Oh, man! You just blew the chances of Aleem Dar being awarded the Padma Bhushan. But Mr. Kamal makes it a slam dunk for Mr. Srinivasan to snub the ICC constitution and take the center stage on the MCG field. Oh who cares that the spectators, 70% of them Indians, boo Srinivasan for being on the field despite his IPL and BCCI episodes. He probably takes the jeer as the long breathing-in before the long breathing-out to cheer Sachin. It's really all a matter of interpretation, as Mr Kamal does his own by taking the boos for him not being there to hand out the trophy, though I wonder how many Indians in the crowd even know of a President in the shadows of the big boys.

But Mr. Kamal may have a hint of truth and pays the price for speaking it out loud. It's like the CEO of an MNC being reprimanded or even shown the door for criticizing his own company in public about the truth on Corporate Apartheid where the same job has different salaries for expats vs. locals (white skin premium, brown skin discount). But the fact remains that one CAN make a much more effective difference through un-emotional, careful and objective rhetoric and actions from WITHIN the institution (a non-incumbent political party in town may have realized that). Quitting and then being vocal outside isn't as effective, unless you're doing the latter through stand-up comedy. Mr. Kamal does both, consciously and inadvertently.

Let's see what pans out in Dubai. For now, the ICC remains a typical family business trying to look like a blue chip company by engaging a few executives from the outside while keeping the reins within the family. 

And Mr. Kamal, all said and done, I say kudos! That's what is called having the spunk, not so much as in the Tigers playing in Pakistan, where one can have a blast (yes, pun intended), only as long as one can last…

The writer is an engineer & CEO turned comedian (by choice), the host of NTV's The Naveed Mahbub Show and the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club. 
E-mail: naveed@naveedmahbub.com