Is tipping a matter of culture or morality?

Clutching the bill after finishing a heavy meal and wondering how big the hole in your wallet is about to get might be a worthwhile worry, a necessary evil, even. That’s why we’ve got taxes and service charges on most meals ordered outside. And then we’ve got the waiter who’s standing right behind you while you struggle to bite into the too-big burger without seeming like a leashed dog being offered a treat. How much should you tip them, you wonder?

Tipping is a form of gratuity, which is derived from the word “gratitude”. So how does one quantify gratefulness? You could dilute it to a percentage or a matter of feeling – different cultures practise this mundane task in wildly different ways. In most instances, it should be the customer's discretion how they wish to tip.

Unfortunately, we don’t live in a world devoid of judgement, so based on where you’re sitting right now, tipping isn’t morally ambiguous, and this minute action may be seen as a token of character. But how different is this phenomenon in other cultures?

A charitable person in Dhaka might be seen differently in Japan or America, although in completely different contexts. Some cultures find the act of tipping offensive – an insinuation that you look down on them. In Japan, omotenashi, or hospitality, is a source of pride, so tips are seen as disrespectful, and a genuine expression of thanks is preferred. The amount you pay at a restaurant or café in Japan accounts for the service you’ll receive at their establishment, which makes sense considering the fact that a customer pays to eat and a server gets paid to bring out said food.

Across the ocean, the West observes tipping in a much more aggressive fashion, with a moral obligation to tip about 20 percent of your bill. This makes sense sometimes, but basically reduces gratuity to a fixed ratio regardless of effort, quality, and even gratefulness. This also means that a server would get USD 100 in tips if they worked at an upscale place, and another would get much less elsewhere. Americans tip under the scrutiny of their fairly strict societal obligation to make up for the obscenely low wages paid to service workers.

Dhaka has a much more lenient culture when it comes to tipping, relying more on the tone of gratuity, sometimes bordering on bribery. Tipping is often customary for services that employ minimum wage workers and don’t deduct proportionate service charges. But depending on where you are and what you’re getting, the server displays social cues for the average customer to communicate their expectation.

Most people agree that they don’t feel pressured to tip but do so on a case-by-case basis. This is largely thanks to a tip culture that rewards good service rather than imposing unwritten social obligations. Unlike either of the extremes of Japan or America, the amount you tip is almost wholly dependent on you and the service you’re asking for. Regular at the roadside hotel? They’ll definitely remember a good tipper, so you’ll always have better seats and faster service.

Our approach to tipping is also largely attributed to the fact that a tip of BDT 50 to 200 is acceptable in most establishments, regardless of your bill. This isn’t to say that a moral obligation doesn’t exist when it comes to tipping. A charitable individual would leave a tip to encourage great work – to help servers and generally reward a service well done. And as the word suggests, gratuity is innate appreciation. Which means tip at your own discretion – not a set percentage, but a gracious amount as an extension of your thanks, a practice common in Dhaka.

So, place a tip when the server deserves it or you know they’re getting paid way too little for demanding work.

Faiza is trying to calculate the socially acceptable tip for her bill, send her your thoughts on the matter on IG @fizouis