Non-fiction
Autumn in my heart
Ah, beautiful autumn has stepped in, setting my gypsy blood astir. I always think that there is a part of me that wants to roam around the world like a gypsy. And at times like this, when the season is changing to maddening autumn, I feel like staying out with nature. I don't want to miss out on the thrill that the changing season holds. For me this is life, this is exhilaration. I can picture myself growing wings so that I can travel with the fleecy white clouds that autumn brings. I would float over the vales and hills. I would float over the swaying white 'kash' flowers and I would float with the clouds that bring in sudden drizzles in this season. The gypsy in me wants to rest beneath the twinkling stars at night. I will ride the white cotton-like clouds that hide the moon. Home, office and materialistic wants --- all seem to be a part of me that for the time being is left far behind. My thoughts are lost to autumn and all that it beholds, my soul sings to autumn. I am reminded of a song by Tagore: Aji shoroto topone probhate shopone / ki jani porano ki chaye…. (What dream seeks my soul in this autumn morn!) Autumn with its blue sky and its white fleecy clouds seems to me like a maiden who is putting on the last colours before putting on her winter attire. There is anticipation written in the wind. The sun, the flowers and even the birds seem to sing in a different tune, as if serenading the season. Butterflies flutter from flower to flower as if in a hurry to collect the nectar before winter comes and withers the flowers. This anticipation, this waiting is for the winter that is just around the corner. Winter comes with its cold days but autumn is there with the last warm days of the year. Autumn seems to get one ready for the coming kisses of winter. If winter is here every year just to remind us that the year is ending, then autumn comes with the last bright thoughts of the year. How fascinating nature looks when the trees are adorned with flaming yellow, brown and orange colours in the cold countries! And here, at home, so many trees start shedding their leaves. You can see the yellow leaves swirling and crazily zigzagging to the ground. Autumn with its clear sky and sparkling sun fills the heart with delight after the soggy days of the rainy season. The gentle breeze seems to hold just the right touch of coolness in it. It is a blessing after the hot humid days of summer! In autumn the early mornings are foggy with a very mild hint of coolness. The cool morning breeze sweeps over the body as if whispering in your ears that the cold days are just round the corner. There is bit of laziness in these mornings. It is as if the weather is weary of sailing through the hot days of summer and wants to slow down. Autumn is like the pleasant retreat of a tree's shadow under the blazing sun. I sit beside a lake while the 'kash' flowers sway in the gentle breeze. The stems of the flowers are soft and the wind has them almost flattened on the ground and then, when the wind passes by, they rise again as if in defiance. The floating clouds are reflected on the water of the lake, over the floating water lilies. The flowers seem to be sighing with relief as they find respite from the blazing sun. The wind sets the ripples to make the water lilies dance with a gentle rhythm. There are some water hyacinths too. They too bobble up and down with the ripples in the water. It is very early in the morning and far away a thin veil of mist covers the lake. The places beyond seem to be far away in the mist. It gives me a feeling of being in a strange new world, a foreign expression to the new season. Sparrows chirp merrily up in the tree near me. A dove coos far away. The clamour of the birds is like a melodious orchestra. I feel as if I am part of a heavenly place, a part of nature celebrating the advent of autumn. I get up and move on. I have to see the jasmine tree that I know must be adorned with its flowers. The 'shefali' flowers really make the autumn so special! I reach the tree and am at once in love with it. The tree is filled with the white flowers and a cloying scent surrounds it. The green grass around it is dotted with some of its withered flowers. Just then a gust of wind blows in and more flowers wither to the ground. It is a beautiful scene. A few birds are hopping on the grass, busy pecking away at the seeds and insects. I sit down, letting my bare feet rest on the grass. Speaking on how autumn touches the soul, the Canadian poet Bliss Carman says in his poem, The Vagabond Song, " There is something in the autumn that is native to my blood Touch of manner, hint of mood; And my heart is like a rhyme…. There is something in October that sets the gipsy blood astir.." I walk a little and come beside a mustard field. Who says heaven is far away? On this cool morning the vast blue sky over the beds of yellow mustard flowers holds out the heaven to me. I am happy, completely happy. I want to hold on to this moment. The beautiful day fills my heart with a longing for life. I want to live on forever. I know how futile my wishes are. And so I lie down on the grass and stare up at the sky. The autumn's cool breeze sweeps over my body and my soul feels blessed. I want to thank the Creator for the beautiful moments I am passing through, for the beauty nature holds. But I know nature can be cruel too. However, for the present I live in its bliss. Who knows if I will be here in this world next autumn? The thought of leaving this beautiful world makes me sad. But I love life, however short it is. This autumn has come to me with intimations of how precious and beautiful life is. It comes with the reminder that life holds wonderful moments in its different folds. This autumn tells me that the ladder of love has countless steps. And I love each and every step of it. I cannot let you sail by without singing a few notes for it!
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