The Lazy Girl's (Real) Makeup Routine

Makeup, though overpriced, is a magical thing. Some girls use makeup for a boost of confidence, while others simply love the satisfaction that only comes from the perfect contour (no girl uses makeup to attract guys, so please stop approaching girls wearing lip balm and asking if they're going to meet their boyfriends). However, there's a certain group of girls who like makeup when it's on their faces, but they're not great fans of the strenuous process involved.  

The internet is filled with tutorials and makeup hacks for "The Lazy Girl". However, most of these processes are still very time consuming and involve lots of techniques, products, and effort; lazy girls do not have any of these. So what is the real version of The Lazy Girl's makeup routine?  

The Lazy Girl does not, in fact, follow a daily procedure to beautify herself. She sometimes prefers her natural, hobo-esque look, but on other occasions, she is suddenly hit with the novel idea of making an effort. She instantaneously decides that she must go out looking on point, so without further ado, she types in "makeup for lazy girls" into the YouTube search bar. 

The Lazy Girl tries to finish the tutorial video, she really does. However, she simply does not have the energy to watch someone use five different brushes to draw on cheekbones. She knows the basics, anyway; the YouTubing was just a way to procrastinate. This is what she tells herself as the Lazy Girl proceeds to work magic on her face. 

People on YouTube talk about the importance of spending time on one's base makeup in their videos, but The Lazy Girl spent all her spare time watching said videos. Meanwhile, the clock is ticking away, so she will just use whatever tube of bb cream/moisturizer/foundation she manages to lay her hands on. She knows she is supposed to be using a brush for this, but honestly, her hands are just as good. On some days, she has enough patience to apply concealer, but on others, she manages to convince herself that her skin is flawless. The dark circles under her eyes are just a result of bad lighting, that's all.

The Lazy Girl then shifts her attention to her eyes. She grabs her palette of eyeshadow, trying to think of an interesting yet dazzling colour combination which will complement her outfit. However, her brain cells get exhausted easily, so she ends up applying layers of a product which is so close to her skin tone that it makes close to no difference. She vaguely remembers buying a few brushes that are supposed to be used on eyelids, but they are nowhere to be seen, and her fingers make satisfactory substitutes, anyway.

At this point, The Lazy Girl is really running out of time. She takes a deep, steadying breath before initiating the most difficult step of all—the eyeliner. As she attempts to draw a decent wing across her eyelids, she hopes and prays with all her heart that it will come out even. On rare occasions, it does, and The Lazy Girl finds new meaning in her life. Usually, though, she is left with lopsided rings of kohl around her watering eyes and random smudges of black strewn across her fingers. Mascara might be used to salvage the situation, but The Lazy Girl is pretty sure her last tube of mascara is currently under her bed. 

The Lazy Girl knows she should apply some contour. It will undoubtedly give a definitive shape to her face and a sense of achievement to her day. Unfortunately, contouring one's face requires time and patience, neither of which The Lazy Girl possesses. Lipstick always brings a radical change to one's face, she tells herself while hunting for the perfectly matching shade. This part is easy enough, partly because The Lazy Girl does not believe in lip liners.  

Once the ordeal is finally over, she takes a step back to admire herself. She believes, considering the effort she actually put in, she looks reasonably well. In most cases, though, this belief is shattered once she gets to her destination and takes a look at the perfectly blended faces of her peers. Sometimes, though, things go her way, and people come up to her to compliment her on her "techniques" and ask for tips. The latter situation, though rare, is what The Lazy Girl lives for.