Ruby Tuesday

OCTOBER 29, 1929 – Black Tuesday. The stock market crashes in the US.

March 10, 2015 – Ruby Tuesday. Our kids go to school on a weekday for the very first time this year, thanks to the 'relaxing' of hartal.

But my daughter is not relaxed, as I wake her up late Monday night to tell her to go back to sleep and rest well so as to wake up at 6am on Tuesday so as not to fall asleep in class during school, which, by the way is open, according to the SMS I receive from her school at 10pm.

While she and countless other disoriented kids go to school on an otherwise academic weekend day called Tuesday, the picketers relax by taking a break from the breaking while donning all green and red (not blood for a change) to join in on the nationwide party. That's party party, not political party. Perhaps some hangovers the day after with picking up of wickets instead of bamboo sticks to continue with the destruction. Oh, the LEDs light up upon shattering Lexus windshields.

And thus, an omnipresent 'V' sign. 'V' for victory, the 2 runs each by Tamim, Imrul and Shakib, the 2 precious wickets taken each by the hobbling Mashrafe and the multi-taskin' Taskin, the likening of Rubel to a powerful 2-stroke engine whose pummeling blitz results in a 2-fold jump in the valuation of the Ruble against the rubble of the Pound, our own M&M soul candy, aka, the Mahmudullah-Mushfiqur duo, the nation begging the 2 most powerful women in the country to a truce…

But the moment doesn't come easy. Just minutes before, the nation almost gets a heart attack when Tamim drops the catch, whether from sweaty palms, or from greasy fingers from a greasy lunch, or from squinting eyes in the flood lights from too much of Fair & Handsome and the ensuing albino effect. The nation's momentary wrath may have called for his relegation to Nirman School Cricket, but in hindsight, he merely prolonged the climax, perhaps giving Reckitt Benckiser a brain wave for making him the brand ambassador for its flagship product.

In the end, Tamim is spared of seriously contemplating a sports asylum in Australia. Nothing goes wrong with England. It is all that goes right with Bangladesh. The Tigers don't participate, they perform. So does even the seemingly fumbling Tamim -- I, as a stage performer, know what nervousness means even when just 10 pairs of eyes are glued on to you. The Tigers carry Bangladesh through to the quarter-finals while a Boeing carries England to Heathrow Airport. I wonder if the inventor of cricket now regrets spreading the game to its colonies. 

Oh, and Rameez Raja, it's not the underdog Down Under. Perhaps many felt like putting a pacifier in his mouth, replacing the foot that was already in there and after the last of England's wickets gone, making him eat a humble pie. The ill-mannered is now no longer called bay-tameez, but bay-Rameez.

And today, Friday the 13th? If Bangladesh loses, hartal may be pushed ahead (or as India puts it, 'pre-poned') from Sunday to Saturday.

Never knew that the game changing game in the game of thrones would be the game of cricket. The Tigers are not only our pride, but are also our Hartal Busters. We may not have cricket, let alone the win of the Tigers, every day, but in some game somewhere, somebody wins every day. To celebrate that win, maybe the powerful can Tamim, er, drop, their plans for prolonging the climax of stalemate on every single day…

The writer is an engineer & CEO turned comedian (by choice), the host of NTV's The Naveed Mahbub Show and the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club. 
E-mail: naveed@naveedmahbub.com