Can Messi’s left foot dribble past a juju?

If you thought Argentina fans in Bangladesh were already stressed about the Round of 32, wait until you meet Nana Kwaku Bonsam. The world of football has plenty of analysts, pundits, and supercomputers, but none are quite as dramatic as Ghana’s witch doctor. Known to his followers as the "Devil of Wednesday".

The infamous psychic has officially entered the 2026 World Cup chat, and he did not come to offer Messi a blessing. Bonsam has claimed that newbie Cabo Verde will send the world champions packing, a prediction that has sent a shiver down the spines of the Albiceleste faithful.

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According to him, Argentina will lose, and the Blue Sharks will pull off the biggest upset in footballing history.

But he did not stop there. He has also prophesied that Cristiano Ronaldo and Portugal will finally lift the trophy. Whether this prediction is a spiritual vision or just a very dedicated Ronaldo fan with a collection of herbs remains to be seen.

To be fair to the shaman, he has a long history of taking credit for things he likely had nothing to do with. Back in 2014, he famously claimed to have placed a spiritual injury on Cristiano Ronaldo’s knee to prevent him from playing against Ghana.

Portugal actually won that game 2-1, but since both teams were knocked out of the group stage anyway, Bonsam likely counted that as a win for his juju.

More recently, he turned his sights toward England’s captain. For months, he claimed to have cast a spell on Harry Kane, which would explain England’s traditional ability to find new ways to disappoint their fans.

However, in a sudden change of heart, the shaman announced that he had released Kane from the spiritual shackles.

In one of his recent viral videos, the Ghanaian psychic predicted Argentina’s exit from the World Cup with certainty. He was also seen live at the stadium performing his rituals surrounded by bells, powders, and a very confident sense of authority during England’s match with Ghana. He insists that his spiritual powers are the invisible hand of the tournament.

Long before the shaman was casting spells, we trusted our lives' happiness to a literal invertebrate.

Paul the Octopus was the pinnacle of sports journalism back in 2010, correctly picking winners from his tank while we ignored actual tactical analysis.

Since then, we have had a revolving door of four-legged experts trying to claim our sanity.

If Cabo Verde manages to achieve the impossible, anticipate a shift in focus away from aggressive hounding and strikers grappling with identity crises. Instead, we will be forced to admit that the real MVP of the tournament was the shaman who rang his bells exactly three times on a Tuesday night. Tactical discipline and Messi’s left foot are impressive, but they have not yet proven they can dribble past Ghanaian juju.

Argentina better hope their luck is stronger than his herbs, or the Blue Sharks might just dance their way into the quarter-finals on the wings of a prophecy.