Diary of a Mad Housewife

me around like a god...Oops, I'm seeing things upside

down and inside out again; what I mean is, this companion

followed me around like a dog, woofing and barking its way

into every waking moment, and sometimes in my dreams as

well, fitful and fleaful though they were. (Though some-

times, of course, they were gleeful too, like when I'd bitten

somebody's nose off, or sunk my teeth into a hand.)

And since they say that you and your dog eventually begin

to look like each other, I began to sprout a few canines and

my nostrils flared like balloons. Sometimes I kept my

companions on a leash; other times it shot off down the

street, with me panting behind, as I almost lost my arm. Did

it ever stop? Oh yes, but only when it was hungry and

wanted to devour me whole.

One day, feeling threatened, I took my faithful companion

to a vet, who gazed, confused, at us, lapping and barking

inside a single skin, and asked which of the two needed to be

put away. It didn't help that my companion and I pointed at

each other simultaneously, and yowled. So the vet took

matters in hand and decided to put me to sleep, or rather,

take me to bed, and shed his white coat along the way.

I woke up one morning and found my faithful companion

had died quietly in my arms.

There is still an emptiness within me where my friend used to

rest its head, and the leash feels strangely slack, except when

my new companion tugs at me with the weight of his hand.

But, of course, my new companion is not quite so faithful to

me. He is a vet, you see, and there are so many traumatized

creatures baying in this world. He helps them all, for a

price, naturally, while I, under his expert care, pretend to be

perfectly well.