THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE

Aries
An eleven-headed man will say hi. Don't respond to his advances.​

Taurus
If a chicken bone can cone, lick your iPhone.​

Gemini
For the next 4 mornings, taste the air for a forecast of your luck. ​

Cancer
Consider business offers from bald men.​

Leo
Touch your elbow in a shameful manner. Results may vary.​

Virgo
Draw a decagon. Step inside it. Now play music without wires.​

Libra
Trust is the main power. Your left hand is the outlet.​

Scorpio
A fork can solve as many problems as it can create.​

Sagittarius
Pictures of dragons on cars will be lucky for you.​

Capricorn
Think outside the box. Wear gloves for the moist atmosphere.​

Aquarius
Fungi have feelings too. Especially when you touch them.​

Pisces
Rub a pizza on your cheek. Yes, mmm, just like that. ​