THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE

Aries
Bakorkhani with doi is a fine combination for lunch. 

Taurus
What do you call a colour that is light black?   ​

Gemini
I have a friend whose head resembles a Malteser. Do you? ​

Cancer
One day the number of youth organisations will be more than the number of youths.​

Leo
There is no way you're getting an Oscar this year. ​

Virgo
Start calling your mother "Progenitor". She will happily make you khichuri.   ​

Libra
Hair tonics are not meant to be ingested. Grow up. ​

Scorpio
Next time you play charades, act out "Zeitgeist". ​

Sagittarius
Daler Mehndi translates to Lentil's Henna. Think about it.  ​

Capricorn
Search for That Wikipedia List. You will be surprised.  ​

Aquarius
I cannot write my own horoscope.  ​

Pisces
The sum of all your pieces is 41.  ​