This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES
Would you like to go for a walk?  

TAURUS
Give yourself some room to sneeze.

GEMINI
Don't drink coffee with a straw.  

CANCER
You are a part of a universe that revolves around someone else.  

LEO
Go home early, or don't, it's up to you.  

VIRGO
Hi, do you like fruits? 

LIBRA
Wear as many rings as possible.  

SCORPIO
I know you know why you are here.

SAGITTARIUS
Your phone is connected to your soul. 

CAPRICORN
Please listen to some good music for a change.

AQUARIUS
I heard you like stations.

PISCES
Squirrels should be presidents.