The Conflict Within

He kept tossing his thoughts to the other side of the wall. No matter how many times he kept hurling them, those careened back to him. The wall was more like a mirror. It kept reflecting the sorrow, the agony, the melancholy and the darkness inside of him. It wasn't a mirage. It was real. His thoughts, they didn't slip away. They didn't leave him. Even if he had gone to the icy mountains to seclude himself from the evil, those would've taken him down like an avalanche. Even if he had found himself suddenly dangling from the edge of a precipice, he would've seen an enormous chasm of his ghastly past instead of a river into which he could've sank. Even if he had thought of segregating himself in the wilderness, the creepers, the branches, the owls, the wolves, they would've chased him till the very end. They were his ghosts. The ghosts of the hoosegow of thoughts locked inside of him. No matter what he did, the agony didn't set him loose which he wanted to get rid of. No matter how far he ran, the branches, the creepers captivated him and the owls they kept gazing at him to recall him of the sorrow. All of it fueled sheer apprehension inside of him just like his past inducing fear within him. He had been conflicting with the adversity inside of him. He tried to dispatch the agony to the remotest part inside of his rib cage. He even tried to latch the door of dolor. To his misfortune, all his fears took over. They broke the lock and scattered inside. They scampered out of the remotest zone. They didn't give in. His dismay even shaded the golden pictures he often peered at the core of his soul. 

Now he's afraid. Afraid of growing fragile and becoming vulnerable to uncertainty. A constant apprehension bugs him and he ponders he might lose the battle he started against his demons. But he couldn't cede at any cost. All of a sudden he found himself in a closed dim chamber. It had a small pore above through which a ray of hope emerged inside trying to illuminate the dark. He didn't care about the agony anymore. He was busy enlightening the dark. No matter how gloomy it was, the only thing he envisioned was the felicity the ray of hope could bring and further set him free from his ghosts. Finally he could shatter the chamber of gloominess to bits. Finally he could break free from the branches of his thoughts. Finally he could defend the avalanche of adversity charging towards him and even call up the cavalry of clouds to evaporate the sorrows within. Finally, he won.

The writer is a grade 10 student of Bir Shreshtha Noor Mohammad Public College.