Dear mother.

Dear mother can I be honest for a day?
I've lied so many times, I forgot the truth.
I have so much in mind but I just don't know what to say.
Where to start, or how to end.
It wasn't the thief that night when you all got afraid,
It was me by your door with a candle in my hand.
The nightmares were suffocating and I was scared to fall asleep.
So I thought of your warmth and my extreme need.
But when I reached your door fighting the fear,
I left without a word too frightened to hear.
For daddy was screaming, and I could feel you sobbing 
Trying too hard to be silent, so that I don't wake up to the shouting.
The Monday morning when you left with that man,
Arm in arm, with a smile I had missed.
I was standing by the window, behind the blue curtains
Your favourite, the ones father and you had got stitched.
When my sister came home drunk, 
and you weren't there to hold her
I saw her crumple to the floor and whisper meaningless words.
And when you finally came, still wearing that smile.
I saw you alive, for the first day after forever.
Yet entering your world you died once more,
With the first sight that welcomed you at the door.
You should really stop wearing those long sleeves
For everyone knows what lies underneath.
They know the screams that go on every night,
They know the truth, they hear every fight.
When you think I can't hear you, and you cry in the bathroom.
I stay right there because I know If I don't stay, you'll be alone.
For daddy loves me and sister but he ain't human to have hurt you.
Everyday he needs to remind himself that he's right, and deny the truth.
I hear him speaking to women every day,
With glittering eyes and ways like on a prey.
Except when he talks to you, and refuses to look into your eyes
I know he's afraid because he'll only see his own lies.
I see my sister dying every day, losing her reason for existence.
I see you breaking every day, the pieces of your patience.
Daddy's lonely too, for even his shadows fear his demons.
He fights them every day, the debts and the loans.
And I'm sorry because I know I can't help you,
I'm sorry because you've to believe the truth.
My life will be a reflection of this after ten years,
And everyday I will live my worst fears.
I know I'm your only hope, I know I'm your escape
But I'm no one myself, no soul alive enough to be true.
And today I'm writing this to you, because I don't know
Who I am or ever was, and my end is the best for your start.
I promise to watch you every moment from up the land of joy
But for now I must say goodbye, and before into the river below I dart
I want you to remember this truth without a given choice
I love you, I love you, and I'll love you till existence ends.

The writer, aged 14, is a grade 7 student at S.F.X Greenherald International School.