How solomaxxing is changing the way we look at being alone

There was a time when going alone to a restaurant made us wonder what people were going to think. Watching a movie alone felt slightly sad, travelling alone sounded like a vivid dream, and being single for too long came with inevitable questions.

However, people seem to have silently decided that none of these things are taboo anymore. Welcome to the era of solomaxxing — the art of doing everything by yourself, intentionally choosing your own company and enjoying it. The term has recently started appearing across social media all over the world, describing young people who are choosing to invest their time, money and energy in themselves rather than constantly pursuing a company.

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And we can see the shift in the everyday choices. Solo dinners, cinema trips, solo travels, and attending concerts alone are no longer viewed as a sign of being "alone" or as a sign that someone has “no one”. They are increasingly becoming experiences people actively choose.

And honestly, there is something strangely beautiful about that.

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Think about the last time you wanted to try a new cuisine but nobody else was interested, or there was a movie you desperately wanted to watch but your friends wanted to watch it with their partners. Or you badly needed a break from the busy life and planned a trip, but everyone’s schedules refused to match.

For years, we have been taught to cancel or postpone these little joys until someone can join us.

What if we simply went to that restaurant? Watched that movie? Or planned that trip?

Sarwat Sameen, a Bangladeshi restaurant owner, talks about solo travels and puts it beautifully, “If you want to discover yourself, understand yourself and learn to love yourself and life, then travel alone; it will teach you a lot.”

And for women especially, choosing to travel alone can carry a whole different weight. There is something so rebellious yet beautiful in that sentence. For years women were taught that travelling alone invites judgement or considered incapable of handling situations alone.

But women choosing their peace over society's permission feel less like another trend and more like a quiet act of reclaiming her own life. Sometimes solomaxxing does not always have to mean booking a flight or planning a big adventure.

Nusrat Kamal, 23, says, “I used to feel weird sitting alone at a coffee shop, but now I actually enjoy having that little time to myself. I rearrange my thoughts while having my cappuccino and observe surroundings.”

It is such a simple but relatable example of how our relationship with being alone is changing. We often assume that sitting alone means that the person must have been stood up, when in reality, they might simply be enjoying their coffee without having to make conversation.

Solomaxxing is not necessarily about avoiding people entirely. It is about learning that independence and companionship can exist together. You can cherish your family, adore your friends, aspire to have a relationship someday and still enjoy spending an entire afternoon alone.

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Being alone can sometimes make us notice small things we usually miss. It can be as simple as enjoying the taste of the food silence, reading a new book while sipping coffee in a cosy café or wandering down a street without worrying about being somewhere else.

Labib Rahman, a 28-year-old graphic designer, shared, “I started going to cinema, art exhibitions, and even attending concerts alone because I realised I was missing so many experiences because I was simply waiting for a plus-one."

And honestly, I agree; we started to miss a lot of things the moment we made our plans according to someone else’s availability. That is where solomaxxing starts making sense. Why should you put something you are excited about on hold just because nobody else is available?

We are so used to a plus-one for everything that initially it feels unusual, but once we stop seeing it as sad or embarrassing, we start enjoying life on our own terms.

Being alone does not mean being sad and lonely. Being single does not mean being sad and incomplete. And being unmarried definitely does not mean sitting in some imaginary waiting room. It is simply refusing to put life on pause while waiting for someone.

If company arrives, wonderful. If it does not arrive tomorrow, that is fine too. Life goes on.

So, the next time you see someone eating alone at a restaurant with their headphones on while enjoying the food, resist the urge to feel sorry for them. Chances are, they picked the specific table on purpose and had a better evening than us.