Buttons come undone as Covid-22 pressures escalate

The Button Sewers (BS) are back. All 10,137 of them from all across the country.

Last week they were all asked to stay home amidst fears of the Covid-22 virus.

On Tuesday, they were asked to come back to the capital city because buttons were popping everywhere and no one knew how to put them back. People are now finally realising the importance of this important yet overlooked group.

"We had to go into quarantine and now we don't have maids," lamented Fahreem, senior director of GibberishOnthePhone, the country's largest telco operator. "My wife has been making me wipe the floors. My pant buttons popped off the moment I bent down. I have never had to stoop this low," he ended in tears.

All across the country, people simply cannot fit into their pants anymore. In the last one week, people have been stress eating all the food they had stockpiled for a month.

Samana, a sports writer for a national daily, lost an eye because of a button popping off his fat brother's pants.

"How am I going to play Pokemon anymore?" He cried pitifully like a sports writer who has nothing to do now because sports simply do not matter anymore.  

The Button Sewers had to walk many excruciating kilometres from their homes. Many walked till their sandals tore and the factories they were going to sent them back, because "rules".

Community transmission of the virus is a big worry now as they have nowhere to go and no sandals to wear.

One button repair factory owner Mrs Owlfowl had this to say: "We care for their welfare. We realise they need to go back and stay home because people on Facebook got really mad at us. We wish them happy, happy thoughts."

She declined to comment on where these poor workers would go back to mostly because she uses velcro and not buttons.

Meanwhile, Ms Robin A Hawk, privileged overseer of the BS Committee, served a petition to change the name from "Button Sewers" to "Button Sewerers" because the first one did not sound right. She sounded confident this will set things right while she stepped into her Lexus SUV. 

(The article above is a work of pure fiction and satire. Any resemblance with any person, organisation or entity living or dead is purely coincidental.)