Shoaib Ahmed Sayam

After the 549th fire incident that could’ve easily been avoided if businesses weren’t absolute pieces of … or if fire-safety measures were a tiny bit better, the nation was shocked once again. 

Chapasthan is once again gearing up for its Ultra Free, Giga Fair National Election. This time, it’s going to be freer and fairer than ever.  

After many debates, demonstrations and detentions, law enforcers have finally come to a solution regarding the Lebutala playground issue.

The following is part of an interview of a woman who is still trying to collect all 634 documents to get her new passpor:.

The following is an excerpt from the diary of a VC, which Satireday obtained when he left home to get sushi after the end of the students’ hunger strike:

“There’s no way I’m going to let these people go back home again,” Mamun from HR murmured. “What will happen to the company’s synergy, dynamism and disruption, if there is no one to synergise, dynamise and disrupt at the office? 

The people of Chapasthan, who are renowned for being oblivious to the concept of a promise, have once again prepared their New Year’s resolutions.  

The government of Chapasthan has assured its people that they will be absolutely safe from the Omicron variant of Covid-22, as authorities, under the celestial guidance of the supreme leader, have taken the strictest measures to prevent another wave of the pandemic.

The minister of roads and highways recently decided to turn all thoroughfares of Chapasthan into racetracks, as the country’s drivers have a natural inclination towards going fast and putting everyone’s lives at risk. 

A recent study has found that every problem the current generation faces is nothing compared to what the previous generation went through. 

With slogans like “We want our half-priced bikes” and “Keep the discounts coming”, thousands of citizens from a specific walk of life held a demonstration at the capital’s Chahbagh intersection. 

As is tradition, Chapasthan witnessed yet another spate of violence perpetrated by the majority on the minority in the past couple of days, triggering the country’s authorities and experts to recycle their remarks about pluralism, conspiracy and geopolitics. 

Chapasthan has landed at the bottom of yet another international index, but the country’s top officials, like every other time, are not convinced by the report. 

Dhaka is not a big city, but it is not an organised city either. Old Dhaka was fondly called ‘Bayanno Bajar Teppanno Goli’r Shohor’ (a city of 52 bazaars and 53 lanes) by many, and many parts of new Dhaka can also be confusing to commute for the uninitiated.

On January 1, 2021, Chapasthan transformed into a “utopia”. Weeks have passed, but Chapasthanis are still struggling to face reality.

Despite suspension of ridesharing services via motorcycles due to health safety concerns, bikers can still be seen with their vehicles parked at intersections in the capital, waving to potential passengers, and with some success too, as many commuters still choose the verbal-contract service despite the risks associated.

“Hi, everyone! Did you miss me? Of course, you did. It’s your favourite wanderlust-stricken traveller, coming to you from Da…Dacca, Bangladesh,” Ryan said, lying in his hospital bed, holding up the selfie-stick.

Along with miseries, the pandemic has certainly brought citizens with generational privilege things to look forward to. Fashionable PPE for death defying Eid shoppers.

Avid readers steadily filled up Ekushey book fair premises on its fourth day, some tagging along with their friends, while others brought their little ones.

This year’s team, MAR5, consists of six youngsters, Aryan Andaleeb Azim, Rubaiyet Islam, Sadia Alam, Alif Hassan Aunkur, Tasnia Mustafa and Rafiul Alam Khan.