Letter From Boston
Small Talk
If you live in Boston or anywhere on the East Coast, you can't miss the newest commercial for Dunkin Donuts, America's favorite coffee shop, which boldly claims "American Runs on Dunkin". That may be true, since one needs a good cup of coffee before one can do anything on a cold frosty morning. However, my experience has been that this country also runs on spoken words. At work, on radio shows, at supermarkets, on the phone, at social events, in politics, or anywhere when people connect with each other, spoken words is a key ingredient, the electrons that keeps our life moving. In our everyday life, we also often engage in small talk, "water cooler conversations", as it is sometimes called.
What got me thinking about small talk is a headline on the last day of the year on USA Today, the national newspaper with the second largest circulation. In big letters the front page declared 2010 as "The Year We Stopped Talking". According to the article, the widespread use of Facebook, Twitter, SMS and other electronic tools is leading us to an environment where we don't talk to each other any longer.
Be that as it may, I like to talk and so does the average person that I meet on the street. I remember, when I was six years old, my homeroom teacher at Mrs. Cox's Private School in Karachi wrote 'talkative' in the Teacher's Comments section of my report card. Needless to mention my parents were not too amused to learn of my classroom antics. However, that attempt to stifle me did nothing to change me. I rather wore the label 'talkative' as a badge of honour. And, I still talk, and talk for a living, too. Every day, I 'blabber' with tons of people who call me to talk, whether in my office, my business or at home.
What do we talk about? We talk about the weather, about the stock market, about my old country, about computer problems and what have you. But talking is not easy for me, particularly at the office water cooler. This is the spot where we gather informally for chit chats, to feel the pulse of the office, and to exchange vital information about life. To be a good "cooler talker" one needs to be up-to-date on popular topics, such as sports, TV personalities, fashion trends, office gossip, and Facebook culture. While I keep up with current affairs, pop music and literary events, I know I am terribly lacking in many other conversation topics circulating at my office cooler.
Fortunately for me, I do better at my small business, i.e., my second job. I meet a variety of people from all walks of life but since I am in my own territory, I have the "home court" advantage. Here is a typical conversation:
I: Hi Kevin, how's business?
K: Very slow. You know how it isbills to pay, debts to settle, creditors to please, etc.
I: I hear you! So, how can I help you today?
K: Do you guys carry any medication for headaches?
On days when we're working together, my brother does most of the talking. He is an artist and has a wide array of friends in the community and in the Dorchester section of Boston where he lives. So he can engage our customers in conversations on pop culture, music, movies, Internet, video games, etc. etc. that I have no clue about. His conversation goes like this:
B: Hey dude, what's up?
C: Nothin' much. Just the same ol' same ol'. Can't take this crap no more!
B: I hear yah. Any plans for tonight?
C: We'll just hang out at Moody's and watch the Celtics cream the Sixers.
B: Cool.
To make up for my lack of born talent as a conversationalist, I sometimes prepare in advance for interviews, office parties, or other scenarios. For example, if I have to ask my bank to forgive a loan that I took but forgot to pay, I would work out a whole line of excuses beforehand and rehearse my lines as I walk in to see the loan officer. Another trick that we learned in high school is a cheat sheet that is handy before an "impromptu" talk.
For example, last year Jim, my co-worker, was called to duty as a National Guard to serve in Afghanistan. Obviously, his family was not happy about it since they did not want to see him leave just before Christmas. At our office send-off party for Jim, we all wanted to show our solidarity with him and also to cheer him up. At these send-off parties, we each go before the microphone, and whoever has the wittiest words and funniest lines gets special recognition from our peers. I kept on racking my brains for a suitable topic and decided to offer a "top ten list" popularized by The David Letterman Show on TV. At the party, when it was my turn, I pulled out a small sheet of paper, and started my speech whose title was "Ten Reasons Why Jim Will be Happier in Kabul". Among the advantages of going from Boston to Kabul that I listed were absence of parking hassles, free accommodation and meals, availability of free transportation, etc. Needless to point out, all, particularly Jim, had a good laugh.
The following week was very busy for us as we were updating our computer system. On Tuesday, I had a very busy day. I had to finish a list of things before I signed off for the day. I kept the conversations short and decided to cut down on small talk. One easy way of doing that is to end any conversation abruptly with the following phrase, "Let me see what I can do". My boss, whose office is next to mine, always pulls me into discussions where a lot of talk is necessary. Angry customers, impatient callers or frustrated supervisors. Today, he noticed that I was not in a chatty mood with my co-workers, and overhearing three "Let me see" curt replies, he popped his head into my office and winked his eye, "you're in a grumpy mood today!". I felt like telling him, "you are not your charming self either" but decided not to. As they say, sometimes discretion is the better part of valour.
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