Short Story
The White Cloud
It took him a couple of minutes to settle down as he woke up. After a while, he switched on the bedside lamp and looked at the little alarm clock. It was 5.30 am, almost dawn.
He had slept late, so he had woken up earlier than expected. It was still dark outside. For once he thought of getting back to bed, making another attempt to search for some sleep. He had taken the day off for the next day. But knowing his habits, he knew very well that sleep would not be easy to come anymore. So he lay on the bed leisurely looking at the white walls.
The interior of his bedroom was a little different, though not too different from what a bachelor's room should look like. The empty walls of the large room had a story of its own. Seemingly for long none had taken care of them. There were no framed and enlarged photographs or expensive paintings hanging on them like it should be on the walls at such an aristocratic home. Actually there was no one to listen to the mourning of the vacant walls. The ageing walls had been guarding its residents with much care from the cold and rainy days for years, but there was none to return some care to them.
After waiting hesitantly for a while, he got up and put the geyser on. Soon the rays of dawn came through the window. The chirping birds began their day's work to spoil any hopes of sleep for him. He took a long shower in the hot water and readied himself to go out. He had an important appointment later in the day.
When he was getting ready, there was mild knocking at his door and then came in the trusted old face of Azhar Mia. He must have been woken up by the noise.
'Should I bring your breakfast?' Azhar Mia asked.
'No, Chacha, I'll go out for a walk', he replied, tying the laces of his shoes.
'Going out this early in the morning?' Being his only guardian now, Azhar Mia seemed a little worried.
'Don't worry about me, Azhar Chacha, I just have an appointment, I'll return at night.'
'What is the appointment? Didn't you take the day off?'
'Nothing special…' He smiled while replying to disguise a sigh coming from deep within, as if it hurt him a lot to say the two little words.
Azhar Mia knew very well what the appointment was all about, so he did not ask anymore about it and went out of the room.
This was their family of two amidst the vast emptiness of the house. Azhar Mia had come into this house long before he was even born. Since his parents had died, Azhar Chacha was the man who held things together, and brought him up with all the care he needed.
The day had started with a strange feeling. There are some special days that start with such special feelings deep inside. Today was one such day. It started with an abundance of memories. Memories lost in time, and not quite lost yet, engraved in the depths of the mind and soul.
He went out, to take a walk at the nearest park. His sole intention was passing some time just to get rid of the 'hard to pass by' morning time. There were health conscious people galore even in the early hours of the morning. Still people living in this busy metropolis have enough time to care about health. After half an hour's walk he entered the park. He did not rest there; he was rather enjoying his unscheduled morning stroll. While wandering around the park, he also detected a couple walking together. The sight of an early morning rendezvous felt pleasing to his eyes.
As he walked on, he did not feel quite well, as if he was not quite himself, the mind floating around somewhere else. He could not wait to meet her. But he had to wait till the evening. Their appointment was set in a public place and he had to wait till the evening to meet her, avoiding inquisitive eyes. He was rather happy drifting away in his memories of her.
She would often play sweet games with him. One day when they were taking a walk together, without any hint she had merged with the crowd of the metropolis. As with a look of bewilderment he searched around, he saw her looking at him from a distance with a smile. There was curiosity in her eyes, which seemed to say, 'Let me see what you do if you lose me for a moment!' Perhaps there is nothing to say. Perhaps there is nothing left to say. That is all I have for you. He had silently answered through his eyes. That moment was to become the longest moment in his existence.
On her last birthday, she had worn the green sari he had gifted her. She was all green that day, her favorite colour. It was raining very heavily that day. Rain. That was one thing they both dearly loved. They had celebrated the day walking for long, drenched in heavy rain. He felt like holding her hands again, but he had to wait. He looked up to see if it would rain today, but all he saw was a world surrounded by the blue sky, a world where the clouds were playing around, a world lightened by a scorching sun.
He looked for a bench to rest his tired feet. Most of the benches were looking out of shape due to extensive use. He walked towards a vacant one where he could spend his next few hours. No better ideas came to him for spending the time he had in hand.
At a certain point the thoughts of a certain white cloud overwhelmed the world of his dispersed thoughts. That is what he calls her; the White Cloud - the tamer of dark clouds. She is always bright as a white cloud against the background of a purple blue sky or he could see her smilingly, overwhelming all wrongs just the way a white piece of cloud would be over the dark clouds once the thundershowers have gone away. She has a similar calming influence over everyone she would come across, just as the impression a fair sliver of cloud would create on an onlooker deeply lost in thoughts.
That was what he did for quite some time, looking up at the sky which was full of fairy clouds, the bearer of autumn. He was playing the role of a carefree observer with nowhere to go. The appointment he had was scheduled for late. It was till the evening he had to wait till he could start walking again to join the invitation. It was nearby, so he had time to be by himself.
He was sitting on a bench in complete suit, a man in black. People passing by him gave him an inquisitive look, wondering who he was waiting for, at that odd hour of the day all tidied up. He watched them back in turn. People were walking all around the park, people of all ages and with all sorts of purposes --- work-out, business talk, love affair, debauchery, begging, unnecessary waste of time and everything else possible. He could not find much interest in them, as he went back to his chain of thoughts.
People say, the most beautiful thing about the world is, of course, the world itself. He didn't quite go with it. Rather with his white cloud around himself, he always had an added meaning to the saying. The world would never be as beautiful as it seemed to be without her existence in it. Just like the lines from his favourite song are, "How wonderful life is, now you're in the world." It is just the ways of looking at things which differentiate human minds. One just needs to change the viewpoint and the world around will show up in a different appearance altogether.
He did not know when he had dozed off. Perhaps the drowsiness from last night's lack of sleep had taken over. As a result the evening gloom set in unnoticed. At times time passes by like a little stream; one would never know how swiftly it would pass by. He got up and started walking towards his destination. On the way he went to a flower shop and bought a bouquet of yellow roses. That is what she liked the most.
He looked up towards the sky. The clouds were all gone, leaving behind an empty dark sky. He knew his white cloud was somewhere in there, watching over him from a distance. He went through a feeling well known to him, that she had been the lighthouse he had been looking out for all along. Today he had thrown away his feelings on the antique primordial platter of ever-starving time; and now it is unbounded leisure on his side that allows him to wait for the invitation to an appointment, between the two of them, to observe her death anniversary.
Later that evening, as he went to see her, he sat down beside her grave, presented her with the flowers and then leaned back to sit and relax himself. He tried to reflect on some more memories from the past. The most magical moments of his life; the most painful part of his life. Moments that will never come back to him. And pain that will never go away from him. Moments that he would never let anyone look at. Pain of which he would never let anyone take a share from him. Because he would cherish those moments as much as he possesses them. As much as the moments raised the belief in him that once he had lived, his pain kept reminding him of the truth that once he had loved.
For all latest news, follow The Daily Star's Google News channel.
Comments