Non-fiction
What fathers can teach daughters
Being a father to a girl is not all that different from being a father to a boy. Nevertheless, there are some unique features to the 'father-daughter' relationship, which plays an eternal melody as life goes on in its multi-dimensional spheres.
The father influences his daughter's ability to relate to other men. Since he is the first man in her life, she gets an impression of what men are like from him. His acceptance of her helps her feel positive about being female and tells her that men are worthwhile persons.
The father's relationship with his daughter determines the quality of her marriage to a large extent. A close, warm father-daughter relationship will usually result in a stable marriage for the girl. As she trusts and loves him, she will find it easy to be romantic and trusting towards the man she marries. By contrast, girls who do not have affectionate, loving fathers often have great difficulty in their marriages.
I am among those fortunate women whose life has been ordained with this golden bonding. It has been eight years now that my beloved father passed away, leaving a pain that is as real as an open wound. Yet his spiritual presence in my life keeps me going on with full vigour and enthusiasm.
Deep down in my heart, I realize how my father's unconditional love was the obvious foundation blocks on which he built my self-esteem. He taught me that self-esteem is at the core of everything we do. It affects our learning ability, our social skills, our faith, our future career success and most of all our ability to enjoy life. It was his image that nourished my esteem for men and prevented me from generalisation even when confronted with negative male attitudes.
It is from my own experience that I have briefly drawn the following tips for a good father and these will show why the role of a father is so significant in a daughter's life:
Be warm and affectionate towards her
A hug and kiss or sitting close on a couch would be enough. Just let her know you love and care for her. Give her compliments and praise her accomplishments. Refrain from giving negative statements about her ability. Girls without this kind of affection in the early years often become "boy crazy" when they reach the teen years. Their search for male attention leads to silly behaviour.
Prepare your daughter to be independent
Make sure she learns tasks that will help her in adulthood and meet the challenges of the modern world, whether she marries or not. Let her develop herself as an individual rather than a 'belonging to a man'. Do not protect her from tasks that you think are only for boys. This will create the sense of discrimination in her and weaken her self-confidence.
Talk to her about men
When she is reaching puberty, explain how boys think and act. She will get answers to most of the rising questions from you. Let her open up to you. Warn her of dangers and give her suggestions for relating to boys. This will prevent her from concealing matters and making obvious mistakes. Tell her about men's needs and responsibilities, especially in marriages.
Let your daughter see the close relationship you have with your wife
Treat your wife with respect and admiration. Seeing these things will help the daughter understand what a good husband-wife relationship means and she will look forward to a healthy married life. She will also learn to respect and admire men, which is vital for ensuring harmony in her married life.
As a father you have to remember that for a few very important years, you are the most important man in your daughter's life. It is your contribution that will shape your daughter's personality and illuminate it with all the attributes of a worthy woman.
Today, I remember my father with special gratitude. I pray for eternal peace of his soul. To me, he was a great man and it is for him that I have never for a moment regretted being born a woman. I have the confidence to meet new challenges and the courage to survive alongside with men as I enjoy all the privileges of being a woman.
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