Reflections
<i>Out of nature</i>

I wondered lonely as a cloud --- the poet had laid down these words long ago, substantiating a feeling for intellectuals, scholars and literati to ponder on for many generations after him. When speaking to any septuagenarian, there is often an enigmatic nostalgia that haunts through their words. And after that nostalgia screens those greeneries, and paddy fields, and lonely clouds. It is with just one person or rather a common phenomenon; that is up to the reader to decide. However, in the experience of this writer (in her early twenties), the latter is more pervasive. It may be an uncle or an aunt, it may be a musician, artist or teacher, or anyone else whom I interview, or it may be the friendly and ever-cheerful colleagues or editors who speak of their golden youth, its all the same. If the person has crossed well over fifty, (although not under this time period) they talk about a Dhaka full of orchards and Krichnochuras, something hat is seemingly only a fairy tale to me when I have grown up and gotten used to busy, crowded and concrete Dhaka city. Trees and greeneries it seems have been restricted to Sangshad Bhaban, Dhanmondi and Gulshan lakes. Well you can aount Savar and Ashulia but those are not really considered Dhaka now are they? I find myself often wondering what growing up in the Dhaka of the early 50's would have been like. To have seen 'dhan' (crops) in Dhanmondi, and instead of Gulshan where Jackfruit trees used to be. In our second floor ofour apartment where I had the happiest and worst times, there was a bevy of solitary trees: solitary because each had a different look even while co-existing. Perhaps if I wrote botanically, I would have given names but here I would have to seek pardon of my reader. I have often been told the names of some of them by someone from Green road who had seen the 'greener' aspect of that road, but I forgot the names immediately to receive the addendum, "Oh! It's not your fault. You didn't grow up seeing them and learning their names." Reverting back to my window view of solitary trees, it is perhaps that view that has made me calm and given me wisdom. Strange! Not that I used to be love-sick or depressed at that age to have 'been calmed by the soothing touch of Nature,' a saying most are familiar to, but it had given me this very wisdom that one does not need to stare at nature only because of the audacity of life but rather for it's grandeur and beauty. William Shakespeare had talked about however cruel Nature can be, but it is no crueler than man. Well, you see, there is an identity of all hidden in this very nature. We all are after all raised from It's soil, and we all become dust to it. Therefore from our incipient stage of life, this identity develops independently Most of us who are too busy in our lives seldom look for it. Some of us who are searching for a meaning come back t Nature to look for that identity which is a reflection of our own selves. Each nature of a person is different and different people have different natures. Similarly our faces in Nature also differ. For example, when I look back at Nature, alone and hidden, what I feel can simply not be compared with how someone else feels. It is not only due to the difference in experiences in everyone's life but also due to the fact that the identity is itself different in our development in nature. What about those people who never searches for that identity parallel to that identity as sentient beings, "Well, they never find it and state that feeling of 'emptiness' and 'something's missing' . Whatever that's missing is a part of their own forms blend in Nature. Well that poses te question: how farther and farther will we go away through time from Nature? Separating ourselves from Nature is also cutting a bit of our ownselves. We may be full in flesh and bones but individually we are deformed. Our parents have seen green days, our grandparents even greener. We see barren lands, our children…The scarcity, the thirst, the restlessness, the disability are on the increase. Security, completeness, serenity and peace are on the decrease. All I will say to end it is "Please plant trees." It maybe in the balcony, in the garden, outside your door, on your roof, anywhere. Do not detach your three-year old from connecting and re-bonding with Nature as in time, his health on that subject counts and in time, it even heals.
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