Embrace the F word

Isn't it weird that in an age when we are so advanced that we are talking about making robots do the laundry, video games to make us forget physical pain and eye glasses to search for words like 'phantasmagoric' just with a blink of an eyelid, most men tend to get all glazy eyed when they hear the word 'feminist' -- coined way back in the 19th century. The F word no doubt is associated with something unsavoury, indigestible, a bit like a frightening allergen most men would like to stay as far away as possible.

This is because it is misconstrued to mean 'man hater' -- a screaming harpy who just wants to disrupt the harmony of society by chopping off her hair and having an inner desire to emasculate every male in sight. Even some women think this is true and refuse to be associated with such unladylike behaviour.

But here's an FYI dudes -- the F word is not a dirty expletive. Being a feminist means recognising the fact that men and women are equal human beings; that women have the same right as men to be respected and recognised for their contribution to society, to lead safe, wholesome lives and to enjoy all that a civilised world has to offer.

Why for the love of Common Sense, is that so hard to accept? Is it because there is an inner fear that women will somehow 'take over the world' and make men feel useless and well, kind of unmanly? Is it a feeling of powerlessness they are apprehensive of because women will no longer feel insecure, inferior and helpless unless there is a man to hover over them? Is it because it may mean sharing all those goodies like property, political power and influence with them -- on an equal basis? Will such madness not be a sign of the beginning of the End?

Calm down dear menfolk. It's not as bad as you think. Contrary to what you believe, we are not man haters. We actually like having you around -- especially if you have the decency to not punch our faces because you drank a bit too much or you think you are entitled to a hefty dowry or you think you can rape us just because we happen to be there at the wrong time at the wrong place… We don't mind taking care of you when you are sick, making you delicious meals or even dolling ourselves up (sometimes) so that we look good in your eyes. We don't mind taking care of the kids and cleaning the house while you are at work. Nor do we resent the fact that even after a whole day's work when we come home nobody asks us if we want a cup of tea. No we don't mind doing the trillion things that we do to make sure you feel good about yourself.

But here's the deal. You can't keep expecting to be treated with such indulgence if you don't let go of the idea that we were created only to serve you. Leave that for the 99 celestial super models  who you may or may not get in the afterlife -- though don't hold your breath on that one -- they may turn out to be feminists too! No we are not here to 'serve' you and make sure your machismo is preserved and your ego intact. We are here to be your partners -- equal partners -- to build families, societies and nations together. We are here so together we can preserve our natural resources, bring back some semblance of sanity to this world. We are here because my dears, you need us.

When you pay us less for the same amount of work, when you use your physical strength and superiority complex to intimidate us, crush our spirit and generally try to make us feel weak and helpless, you are doing yourselves a gross disfavour. You are depriving yourselves of having a strong, nurturing, confident group of individuals who want to share their intelligence, their intuition and their talents with you. So together we can be stronger, happier and saner in our struggle to save humankind.  

The writer is Deputy Editor, Op-ed and Editorial, The Daily Star.